It behind at the back of my mind

You know that feeling when you just sit there and think deeply about everything that you had said before, before the time changes everything.

Those moment when you are still talking and looking at people you know and care - not just wondering with a temporary blink of thought. Like you really have nothing to worry to start a new conversation with the people you used to know , or actually still know till this day.

Well yes I do.
I miss them but I don't seem to acknowledge it myself.
Being pretentious to own self - feeling better without the presence of anyone than internet.

Exactly true, if I said that internet friends are real in term of real conversation yet you won't remember long for the entire year nor time but real life friends even if you had a meaningless or pointless discussing it would still be valuable to keep in your box of memories. Rethinking or recalling  those memories when you are about to sleep in your bed holding your pillows in your arms - drifting your mind into the roads that lead to the words and sentences of beautifully voiced by them, will keep you at ease through the night till you fall asleep. But sometimes you just shedding tearless tears upon imagining the happy times you had before and compare it to now, which seems like kinda suck.

When you had the best time of your lives during your old times it would be incomparable to what you are in current time. Your mind keep telling and bringing back it all, and you'll be thinking " I wish it would be like this " ,  " I wish they would come back swinging around me " ... wishful lists.

I do see it, sometime I did. But the truth about life, these are what they called sweet memories. So sweet that it can't be recreated to the same extent. It will stay forever in you, only if you wanted it to be in you forever. It doesn't mean that you can't create a new memory right ? Yeah you can.

I don't know why I'm writing this right now at 2:14 AM. I should have be sleeping right now.

Oh, maybe because I opened twitter it wasn't the same anymore. There are less and less recognizable people there. Maybe. I don't know. haha

I'm not miserable nor melancholy. Just some kind of guilty and weird unreachable visions.
Guys, I hope you have a good life. There's a lot waiting ahead of you. Don't just look back and let it distract and drag you slow. Be strong and pull yourself forward :)

That's it . See you soon.

(oh btw, I'm editing a video. It could be done in a few days but I can't promise when because well, I'm so lazyassprick. heh till then. ) ( And ignore any grammar mistakes coz I'm too lazy to check .. )