It behind at the back of my mind

You know that feeling when you just sit there and think deeply about everything that you had said before, before the time changes everything.

Those moment when you are still talking and looking at people you know and care - not just wondering with a temporary blink of thought. Like you really have nothing to worry to start a new conversation with the people you used to know , or actually still know till this day.

Well yes I do.
I miss them but I don't seem to acknowledge it myself.
Being pretentious to own self - feeling better without the presence of anyone than internet.

Exactly true, if I said that internet friends are real in term of real conversation yet you won't remember long for the entire year nor time but real life friends even if you had a meaningless or pointless discussing it would still be valuable to keep in your box of memories. Rethinking or recalling  those memories when you are about to sleep in your bed holding your pillows in your arms - drifting your mind into the roads that lead to the words and sentences of beautifully voiced by them, will keep you at ease through the night till you fall asleep. But sometimes you just shedding tearless tears upon imagining the happy times you had before and compare it to now, which seems like kinda suck.

When you had the best time of your lives during your old times it would be incomparable to what you are in current time. Your mind keep telling and bringing back it all, and you'll be thinking " I wish it would be like this " ,  " I wish they would come back swinging around me " ... wishful lists.

I do see it, sometime I did. But the truth about life, these are what they called sweet memories. So sweet that it can't be recreated to the same extent. It will stay forever in you, only if you wanted it to be in you forever. It doesn't mean that you can't create a new memory right ? Yeah you can.

I don't know why I'm writing this right now at 2:14 AM. I should have be sleeping right now.

Oh, maybe because I opened twitter it wasn't the same anymore. There are less and less recognizable people there. Maybe. I don't know. haha

I'm not miserable nor melancholy. Just some kind of guilty and weird unreachable visions.
Guys, I hope you have a good life. There's a lot waiting ahead of you. Don't just look back and let it distract and drag you slow. Be strong and pull yourself forward :)

That's it . See you soon.

(oh btw, I'm editing a video. It could be done in a few days but I can't promise when because well, I'm so lazyassprick. heh till then. ) ( And ignore any grammar mistakes coz I'm too lazy to check .. )

14' is ending soon.

Hey guys.

It's nearly the end of September which means that my first term for this year will end pretty soon. Seriously, I'm not ready for this. It just.. It just TOO fast to bear. I wanna spend more time with people that just became my acquaintance, team and buddy. I wish I could slow down the time but apparently everyone wishes the same thing as well which make it impossible to happen. Right?

First off, I wanna start my soliloquize with stating about the bond that I've cr3ated h3re. Dafuq? Yknow diZ phone alwayz make that shit typos with numb3rs and it seems rempitz.
Don't mind that spelling. So, in new place and new life I've made a lot of new bonding with many people whether through my intention or without. Keep in mind that I'm that kind of person that rarely use my mouth to communicate ; introvert shyness socially awkward and stuffs, but I actually managed to make these people exist in my life here. These people, these special people in here helped me go through the roughness toughness hardness ...*insert suitable words*.. made me capable of dealing with things.

Perhaps next time I'll share about my favourite people  here which include everyone that I know. Maybe not that specific with every SINGLE person's story. I really wanna write about it.

By the way, final exam starts this 24sept so... Don't wish me luck but pray that I'll be hardworking and striving enough to achieve what equal to my efforts. :)

Till we meet again.
Here, I left you with a picture.
This freaking picture is about food that I consumed few weeks earlier which cost me a few RM10 notes. It was delicious but phew  wayyy too expensive. 9/10 would do again (in case I got huge amount of money).

The 'Happy' Day

Hello and Happy Eid-ul Fitr guys !

So, how's your day ? Must be pretty good, better than mine I suppose.
I started my first Syawal with a late-waking-up as I slept around 5a.m my fault, and guess what ? Extremely tired morning.
Then I proceed with the usual bathing, my new Baju Melayu and bla bla bla.
Fast forward to a time around 10a.m or something after Solat Sunat Aidilfitri people began to enter my house.
Ate stuffs and messaging and watching tv and Boom ! Suddenly everything became hectic. A sudden headache attacked me, shit was so terrible and I really feeling like throwing up but luckily I didn't. Phew.

Hot, Rain and Hotter, my body began to release the sweat. Very uncomfortable but still, IT IS RAYA.
Around 1p.m or something, I followed my parent and siblings to Graveyard, grandparents' houses ( keep in mind that I got many grandparents ), other relatives. It's a tradition that we do each year during first syawal so I really have to stick to the family's plan. But unfortunately this year we started the journey a lil bit late as many guests came to our house.
I just came back home around 8p.m and VERY VERY SLEEPY.

Okay, that's my story or summary of today. Next section.

Some people asked me to join them visiting friends' houses and I had to refuse. But seriously If the condition was clear and okay I definitely would go with them.
So I would like to express my guilt and I'm terribly apologise for something that I didn't do. This really bother me a lot. Sorry that I couldn't attend your house or accompany you to somewhere.
I know you won't accept my excuses but it still something that I should do.

Oh, and to that person that I had promised to take selfie of myself and wafiy ( my nephew, not that Giant Wafiy ) , I will deliver it soon. You know it was very hard to take a picture of a boy that kept crying and screaming.

Settle that. Next section.

I didn't have the feeling of taking any picture this year. So, I ended up taking no picture at all. No spirit No enthusiasm No nothing. A very dull day for me. The laziness also kept me hanging on air and avoided me from wishing to all of my contacts. Maybe some of it but not all. You already received a huge amount of wish from numerous human so one non-existed wish from me won't affect anything. Hee ~

This post, I expect that nobody is going to read it but if you do then Thank You :)

That's it. bye 

It's July'14 !

Hello people !
Okay. So it's already July 2014 , still a few months left before this year ends. I have a lot of story to be told here (typed) but I start with something latest. I just downloaded an app for android called Blogger which literally similar to this site but for phone version.
With this new app I can post something on my regular basis, yes? I.Think.So.

Secondly, I'm now continue studying in a place that called YOU. Trust me, the only difference between this place and other institute is the environment ; social, people, life styles and lecturer/teacher. The stage for learning process can be hard moderate or easy ( too lazy to put comma there ). Truth be told, I miss my previous Alma mater. To be frank, both are located in Arau. Lol.

After that, MUET ! Okay. I done with it, my first time sitting for that test. Seriously, it WASN'T EVEN GOOD. I did my worst in every section I took. Nothing to blame other than myself. Speaking was a hell bad, writing was super unwell , listening ? Okay I guess. Reading ? Asdfghjkl. I don't know. I definitely can smell the high probability of me to repeat that test again. But I wish I don't . please. God.

boom! My biggest problematic problem that caused me super troublesome. DATA LOST! yes, my data including pictures videos music movies documents softwares memories nightmares are GONE just like that. Almost made me cried a bit but I didn't luckily ( gosh it really broke my heart and soul to pieces ). Just imagine, the things I captured I recorded for more than 4 years and I stored every byte of it in the folder suddenly just vanished from my life without me having the chance to back it up into my external drive. Okay. I already moved on from that. But sadly I'm not able to continue my post about many things that only buried and kept to be drafts from last year. Sorry though. Meh. Life is not always bright to you right ? You just gotta learn how to accept it sometimes.

Other than that, I'm currently on page 151 of 'The Fault In Our Stars'. And curse those people that keep spreading the spoilers on the internet. Just let me finish this book first you bastard! Haha.

Lastly, being here is really time consuming. Like once you opened your eyes and blinked suddenly it already dark. Wtf? Okay. And so many quizzes and tests to be taken in a short time. I suppose it's good that way but really wtf again? Okay. Stop. (I Apologise for my bad influence pfft ) 

That's it for now. Oh, should I provide you with some photos ? Okay. Byee

Reminiscent Half-part

Hey, macam mana hidup dalam tahun 2014 ?
Gembiye? Deriye? Sengsaye? atau Biase Aye?

Dah, jangan jawab soalan atas itu. Pura - pura ambil berat dengan berselindung disebalik soalan itu. Ha !

Okay, beberapa jam yang lepas aku dengan sengaja membuka folder - folder yang tersimpan di dalam komputer ni. Dah beratus hari tak buka.
Bila aku klik saja folder itu, POOF !

Aura kenangan lepas berlegar keluar,

Ruang kosong masa kini diisi,

 Antara kesedaran mimpi dan fantasi,

Rebah dihimpit ketajaman realiti,

Awan kenangan menutup jiwa dan hati,

Resah tiada untuk kisah kini,

Asal kisah lama tebal dalam diri,

Risau wujud kisah kian dilupai,

Abai kisah lama hidup aku kembali.

Okay apa aku tulis tu? Semua ayat tu datang secara spontan. Teruskan cerita.

Gambar lama, video lalu, orang lama, hidup lalu. Rindu menebal memikirkan betapa indahnya kisah lama. Haha. Indah? Mungkin lah. 

Serius, memang seronok hidup pada zaman tu. Walaupun ada banyak kekangan dalam hidup dari segi kebebasan dan mungkin agak terkongkong dari abang senior ; asrama leee. 

Kisahnya dulu aku suka merapu, jadi wujudnya video ni. Eh,perlukah aku muat naik di sini ? Okay tebalkan muka boleh la. Blog aku juga kan ? LOL 

Video yang ni menunjukkan aku dan Hayazi dalam misi menyiasat perkara misteri yang terjadi di blok tingkatan 3. Eh? Bukan. Tingkatan 4. Okay dah lupa tingkatan berapa. Apa apa lah, jadi misi diteruskan sehingga ke kelas paling hujung. Bau asap misteri misteri lah sangat yang berlegar di sekitar kawasan terbabit. Video ni dari Februari 2011. Jadi masa tu aku tingkatan 4. Ha terjawab soalan atas tu, ni blok tingkatan 4, konfem !

           

 

"hari ni kita akan menyiasat.."

"maaf tuan tuan misi gagal"

Baru 3 tahun kan ? Jadi video ni tak lah antik sangat. Tapi serius kelakar bila teringat kembali. Masa ni hari sabtu / ahad, bebudak asrama tak balik minggu tu jadi memang masa free lah. 

Ini pula video kedua, aku buat persembahan. Bila tiada matlamat dalam hidup, bila kerja sekolah dibiarkan berteriakan di atas meja dibilik study, bila bosan hujung minggu, bila tiada matlamat dalam hidup eh macam dah taip tadi . Sedih kan ? Biasalah, tingkatan 4 kan tahun honeymoon macam yang selalu digembar gemburkan oleh guru. Tebal muka tengok diri sendiri haha.

"saya nurun hayazi.. rakan..RAKAN! ..."

"kita akan saksikan persembahan itu.."

"..adakah logik atau tak logik...?"

*me starts dancing*

*me runaways*

" saya isytiharkan esok cuti.."

 

Okay, fuh. Aku tak pasti apa yang merasuk fikiran aku pada masa tu, kelakuan yang misteri sekali. Menari pun macam orang sakit. Sila padam imej ini daripada otak anda sekarang. Padam terus. Jangan diingati lagi.

Terselit juga gambar dalam semua aktiviti ini.

Ini Nurun, dalam kelas 4 Umar. Wehoo. Kelas kami dulu. Atas ni aku, tu tak tidur.

K.

 Lame kan gambar - gambar tu ? Sangat. Memang. Hokayh.

Sekian sahaja, pendek je post kali ni. Kalau nak cerita pasal kisah yang lama memang ambil masa yang lama. Sambung sajalah nanti bila wujudnya rasa ingin menaip.

Noktah akhir

Pronunciation Poem

Hey guys,
i found this 'short' poem that will help you in saying the right pronunciation of words.
I tried this and it was fun.  Some of the words are difficult to say for us as non-native speakers of english but we must try .

So here's a paste of something i copied earlier from the owner's blog,

 "While most of you non-native speakers of English speak English quite well, there is always room for improvement (of course, the same could be said for every person for any subject, but that is another matter). To that end, I'd like to offer you a poem. Once you've learned to correctly pronounce every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

If you find it tough going, do not despair, you are not alone: Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself."

 

English is tough stuff 

Dearest creature in creation,

Study English pronunciation.

I will teach you in my verse,

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy. 

Tear in eye, your dress will tear.

So shall I ! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

( Mind the latter, how it's written. )

Now I surely will not plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak:

Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;

Cloven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,

Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,

Exiles, similes, and reviles;

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war and far;

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;

Gertrude, German, wind and mind,

Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food.

Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad,

Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation's OK

When you correctly say croquet,

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour

And enamour rhyme with hammer.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,

Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,

Neither does devour with clangour.

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,

Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,

And then singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,

Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,

Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.

Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,

We say actual but victual.

Refer does not rhyme with deafer.

Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Mint, pint, senate and sedate;

Dull, bull, and George ate late.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,

Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,

People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover,

Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise.

Chalice, but police and lice;

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,

Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,

Senator, spectator, mayor.

Tour, but our and succour, four.

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, Korea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.

Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.

Say aver, but ever, fever,

Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.

Heron, granary, canary.

Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear

Do not rhyme with here but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,

Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche !

Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won't it make you lose your wits,

Writing groats and saying grits?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel:

Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,

Housewife, verdict, and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --

Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?

Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is to give up !!!

( Apparently excerpted from The Chaos by Gerrard Nolst Trenite. )

So that's it ! forgive me if there any spelling mistakes as i re-typed it again

( not copy paste okay ! ) 

Source : ClickHere^_^

First quarter of January 2014

Maybe it's a little late to wish this but, heh who cares ?

Happppy New Year 2014 !

"new year new me...." *slaps own face*
Enough with that statement , you'll never be new, at all !

Soooo,
the first quarter of 2014 has just passed, there are things that i wanna mention about regarding myself these past days .

Nothing New.

I expect nothing to be changed, maybe a bit. I made no new year resolution and no new hope about anything. Already lost the ability to trust myself again, if i ever said i will change or be hardworking or be better then it just like me throwing stone at the sky and hope for it to fly away across the space and galaxy ._.
This is not a sci-fi movie, i am now relying more on my left-brain to think most of the think.

Focus and confidence.

Ha ! I dont know what happened to my these two things, it just gone like that. In classes i couldn't focus and absorb the information, it just flew away from me like avoiding me or something ;_;
Especially in math, yep. There were things, that circling in my head, idk what.
My mission for days to come is to find my focus back, must ask help from Sherlock, for free of course

Oh, then my confident has dissapeared too. I am no longer able to talk with people that i might have known before, i just lost that courage and ability to speak fluently. I trembled a lot while speaking, mind went blank and heart pounding so fast. Why ? No explanation yet to be discovered . I fed the butterflies in my stomach haha

Fantasy

I lost my grip on reality. Everything seemed so unreal and surreal to me. Was it all just a dream ? Will i wake up someday from all of this ? Questionable. A nightmare that i created and keep playing in my mind, replay replay replay. I always dreamed, being alone and nobody around to condole. Just me and the imaginary world. Where is my reality ? Is it still in existence  ? Questionable. I see through the real world and think in my world. Become the narrator to my life.

Future

Ahh i like this, the one that stunned me. Confuse about the path that i'm taking now, will this lead me to the right way ? Hard to decide. It made me hard to sleep at night, the flashback of my past and comparison to present me. I know what i should do to achieve anything that i want but i cant. Will continue in finding the reason to this and overcome it

Relationship

What relationship ? With Friend, yes. With Family, yes.  With acquaintance, yes. With somebody special ? nah. It never crosses my mind. Why should i ? I have enough friend that always with their works and being busy with their schedules, i have family that always spend their time with anybody but me, not that close and awkwardness, i have acquaintance that exist on social websites, yeh, everything is just fine.
*exaggerating detected* LOL

No, actually i should blame myself for not having the time to spend with them. I'm too busy with doing nothing, being on the internet for all hours, overthinking about something unrelated and blablabla. Ouch.

Religion

This one, scares me. I dont know how to explain. Well dont worry im still on the right track, but with curiosity.


Okay that's it i think for now, sure there are something more but no, maybe next time.
pardon me for any mistakes, correct me if there's something wrong in my text, like grammar or any.  been a while since my last post aha.

Type to you later ! :)